Wearing Diapers To Class

To start off, I would not advocate doing this if you can avoid it.

I picked a day where I had just 1 lecture, in the afternoon. My day started off pretty normally. I left my room early and headed to the main library to do some work. One issue I had was extricating my diapers. I didn’t have a chance to do it the night before, and I was *almost* caught in the morning by my pesky roommate, who was pretending to be asleep but wasn’t.

Anyway, the diaper came online around lunchtime. Once I had eaten my lunch, I set off to a secluded toilet not far off from my lecture venue. Except, it was toilet cleaning time. My carefully calibrated timing was in jeopardy. Deciding to go in a little late, I decided to climb one floor. Thankfully, no one was in that toilet. I locked myself into a cubicle and started to put on my diaper.

My chosen diaper for the day was the Tena Slip Super. It was cloth-backed, hence essentially noiseless, and it held vast volumes. I quickly put it on, and headed for my lecture. I realised that my shirt did not stretch down to cover the bottom part of my butt, but it was sufficiently covered. Thankfully, there was no unusual bulge.

I decided to sit apart from my two friends. And I sat at that spot for the entire 3 hour lecture. For some reason, I didn’t need to pee. But I wasn’t complaining.

After the lecture, I returned to the library. And there I was, from about 5pm all the way till eleven. I was there, doing my work at my pace. But no one suspected anything unusual. They probably didn’t notice that I hardly got up, except to eat dinner. But the PRC students whom I was surrounded by were plugged into their music and hardly batted an eye when a hot student walked past.

Anyway, the time had come for me to leave. It was late and I decided to walk to my hall. Luckily, my roommate was preoccupied with his FIFA online game, and I was able to retrieve my shower things without much ado.

Went into the common bathroom shower cubicle, stripped. And my stomach rumbles. I start going, and pretty soon, it is time for me to take off the diaper. A full 10 hours had passed and I must add, kudos to Tena for making a worthy product that belt 3 bladderfulls for that long.

I realise that it is not impossible to wear in school. But I don’t think it is sustainable. For one, I was very conscious that people were looking at my butt. My schoolbag did cover my butt, but I was worried that with more pee, the greater the possibility of bulges. For another, I was scared that my pee would start to smell. And while the diaper didn’t swell up significantly, there still was some noticeable swelling, which was a little uncomfortable for my man parts.

The biggest issue was that I spent zero minutes with my friends that day. I was too scared that they would notice. This will be the one thing that will prevent me from repeating this experiment in the near future. Unless I find a friend who is willing to try it out too. I also did not change my diaper that day, and there is a host of problems that may erupt if something goes wrong.

In summary, this was an eye-opening experiment. I now understand a tiny bit of the fears and insecurities that incontinent people experience. It is really difficult for them to manage it, all by themselves.

It is not worth the hassle to do it again.

– Selv

Additions To My Blog

Hi guys and girls,

I’ve been adding a few things to the site, thought I’d put them in a post in case you’ve missed some of them.

I’ve added 2 Diaper Reviews, Dr. P Basic and Certainty. The Certainty review doesn’t have pictures because I seem to have misplaced them, so I’ve altered my usual template.

I’ve also added a new section, which I’m calling Semi-articles. It is a collection of some of my blog posts which I feel that ABDLs will be interested in, for easy reading. A gentle reminder that while I’ve done my due research, the opinions contained within these posts are mine and do not necessarily reflect other people’s views.

I’ve added a few blogs to my list in the Useful Links. Do take a look at their blogs!

I’ve updated my Tumblr Short Stories. It is growing very slowly.

It’s a small site, with a small readership. But I feel that it is worth the effort. Thank you for reading my thoughts.

– Selv

My Drive-pered Escapade

This is going to be a long post. The diaper portions are little, but trust me, they are ‘juicy’, mind the pun. Think of this post as a story. You can read the diapered chapters only, if you so wish.

Chapter 1: Pick-up day

I’ve not had an escapade in quite a while as now I have better access to diapers since ORD. But I still longed for that freedom of being able to go wherever I want, being a tourist in my own country etc. Also, I’ve always wanted to rent a car and ‘just drive’, for the fun of it. And that’s just what I did. I even came up with 4 ‘modules’, just for the fun of planning it.

I rented a small car for my Escapade, a simple Suzuki Swift. And the pick-up itself was quite a mess! Their office was in an industrial complex, and the address that I received was unclear. Once I found the place, I was told that I had to pay the deposit in cash. So, I fumbled back down to the vast complex and had to find an ATM. It took me nearly half an hour!. But my ordeal didn’t end there. The guy led me to the car, and instructed me to get into the passenger seat. I assumed that he was going to show me the interior. But instead, he zoomed off to the neighbouring industrial complex! It was evening and he didn’t even tell me where we was going until I asked. Turned out that he simply wanted a ‘lift’ to the place since I had rented out their last car.

So there I was, in the middle of another, unfamiliar industrial complex. Gingerly, I drove out, and took a wrong turn… Had to stop to consult Google Maps. I had decided to go to Kovan for dinner, and to experience night driving at the same time, and I did. As I was approaching the carpark, it dawned onto me that I had forgotten to put in the Cashcard. Upon closer inspection, I realised that it was the ‘older’ Cashcard, not CEPAS. Luckily, the gantry opened. Heaving a sigh of relief, I went in and found a spot. Being a perfectionist, I re-aligned the Swift 3 times before getting out. And a homeless man watching that scene laughed. Walking away, I got myself a Subway sandwich, and a Cashcard. Drove home and parked in a multi-storey car park a little further from my house (for obvious reasons). The very MSCP that my dad proclaimed that was ‘very difficult to negotiate’.

Chapter 2: I need a toilet

The next day, I had planned to put on my diaper at home before commencing my driving. Then, my grandma decided to go walking that morning, and I knew that I couldn’t take any chance. I walked down, underwear on, diaper in my bag, greeted her, and walked on. At first, I wanted to put it on in the public toilet at the Community Centre. But they had just commenced cleaning. The nearby MRT Station was similarly undergoing cleaning. And as the clock had struck 9am, I decided to just move on.

I drove out of the MSCP WITH GREAT EASE (emphasis added), and drove on to East Coast Park’s Seafood Centre. I had chosen that carpark as it would be deserted in the morning, and it was. I quickly donned on my Softess diaper (horrible HORRIBLE design, but good absorbency), bagged my underwear (I’ll come back for this), and bought a lemonade before commencing some self-teaching, ‘skills module’. I taught myself to do forward-parking, and to reverse to the rear without looking at the mirrors. These things were not taught in driving-school, and I guess I’ll never use the latter, it is so silly.

After I was satisfied that I had mastered it somewhat, I decided to commence my ‘city-driving module’. But I realised that I should have awoken earlier, as most of the traffic jams had cleared by 11.30. I out of the carpark, kept to the service road and drove up Still Road, and down Changi Road, all the way to Bukit Merah before turning into Telok Blangah. Modest distance. I peed a trickle at some traffic stops, but nothing major.

I then stopped at a carpark, for another glass of lemonade. It turned out that I was in LKY’s ward, which meant that the place that I was sitting in was frequented by my grandmother, before I was born. A place which I had stumbled across by accident, an oral legend, since my grandmother moved out of the area before I was born. And I see if for the first time while I was wearing a diaper. Like it was meant to be… I wonder if the old ladies I saw still remembered my grandmother.

Sentiments aside, I commenced my ‘hilly-region module’. The route was simple; drive up and down Mount Faber’s steep and winding roads, loop and repeat. The valets at the Jewel@Mount Faber must have been wondering what in the world was I doing. Anyway, though some sections were indeed steep and winding, it was really nothing. I guess real mountain roads would be much more challenging. So, no driving up to Cameron Highlands for now. With that thought, I paused for lunch at the Harbourfront Food Centre.

Chapter 3: Don’t laugh at me!

After that, I decided to head down to the Australian Embassy. It took me a while to figure things out, but I drove to the Hong Lim Park Complex to park at the MSCP there. There, I would change out of my diaper, and walk downtown to do my thing. I set off. It was a simpler MSCP, so I parked easily. There I made a horrible discovery. I HAD LEFT MY UNDERWEAR AT EAST COAST! My heart was racing. I was wearing a diaper that seemed very heavy, and I didn’t know what was its capacity. My lunch-time deluge was on its way, and I had to face the prospect of walking 3 streets wearing a wet diaper, directly into the Australian Embassy. I was left with no choice. I started my walk. Along the way, tourists stopped me to ask for directions, I ran for the traffic light as my diaper crinkled audibly. And when I made it to the Embassy, I found out that I had ‘just’ missed the cut-off time for the day’s applications.

Sadly, I started my walk back. And as I was waiting at a traffic light, I heard laughing. I turned around and saw a group of three white men, with a deep accent (probably from the UK or Australia). Then one of them said ‘look at his pants’. And the three burst out laughing. That was when I realised just how visible the outline of my full diaper was. It was a real nightmare – I was standing in the middle of the CBD in broad daylight wearing a wet diaper with a visible outline, and people were laughing at me! I just changed direction and walked away from the junction as fast as I could go. I won’t comment on the likelihood of them being ABDL.

Chapter 4: Underwear Woes

I made it back to the car, and had a little scare when I could the car parked in a different deck. Almost died from the fear. I made up my mind to alter my route and go back to East Coast. I wasn’t sure if the plastic-bag was still there. But I had to try. 25 nerve-wracking minutes later, I had arrived. And from a distance, I noticed that people were sitting the seat I last remembered sitting. The whole place was still empty and they had to sit at that seat. My mind was a blank. I knew that it was game over but my legs just kept walking towards the table. And at a distance where they started to notice me, I saw it.

The white plastic bag was there, chucked aside into the nearby plants. As quick as I could, I grabbed the bag and walked away as quick as I could. But the moment I lay my hands on the bag, the group burst out laughing. I knew immediately that they were the ones who had moved the bag. But whatever, I never felt so glad that I was going to wear underwear! And so, I moved toward the very toilet cubicle where I had put on the diaper, and proceeded to pee out what little liquid was left within me that I hadn’t let out during the 25 min drive. I suppressed the urge to go #2, and changed out of my well-used diaper. With a tinge of longing, I threw the gleaming garment away, wrapped in the white plastic bag that had been holding a used underwear just minutes ago.

Chapter 5: No more diaper

With that, the ‘diapered’ part of my ‘Drive-pered Escapade’ had just ended. But up ahead lay my the part that I was looking forward to the most – the ‘long -distance module’. I had to alter my route due to the detour, and due to various delays it was going to be highly truncated. But I was determined to make to best of it. So I set off, covering half the ECP, before turning into the KPE, driving up all the way on to TPE, then the PIE till the end, east on AYE, up the CTE and back east on the PIE towards the industrial complex. I nearly missed a u-turn, but was able to make it back in time to return the vehicle.

At times, I caught myself wanting to pee. I sort of missed the way the diaper provided extra padding for me on the seat. I missed the extra comfort that was now gone. And, of course, the option of ‘going on the go’. But I realised that while the diaper had shaped my day, it was the driving I really benefitted from, yet was playing down..

Epilogue

I thank you for reading about my experience. I guess the one thing that I learnt would be that when you plan, always expect the plan to change. With that, I wish to announce that I will be going away on a holiday for 10 days. I’ll be backpacking to Australia, and if all goes well, I’ll be wearing a diaper for the very first time in a foreign country. No promises, but I’ll try to blog in that period.

Until then, take care.

-Selv

Grocery Shopping

A week ago, I was out grocery shopping at the nearby (New-Town) centre. I had bought my stuff and was on my way home when I bumped into an old neighbour, who had moved into her son’s house a few years ago.

We exchanged the usual formalities (How are you, how’s your health; Look at you, how you have grown). We talked for a bit. I asked her about her husband. And she said something unexpected. She said, and I translate, “My husband is bedridden, he needs to wear Pampers. Look here”, she said. And she showed me what she was carrying in her plastic bags – 2 bags of adult diapers. I hadn’t noticed them, and I stood there, a little unsure of how to react. We parted ways and I carried on home.

That little encounter made me think. The vast majority of people who use diapers fall into the category of the elderly – those highly dependant on others. I had seen my grandmother go through this too. It was a very sad moment, as I saw an old woman lamenting about the poor state of her husband’s health. I wanted to say something to comfort her. I also wanted to tell her that the diapers that she had bought were of poor quality, but that would have been a PR disaster.

I guess this was a reminder for me, a reminder that what I do as a DL is not the most socially acceptable thing.

I did not wear my weekly saturday diaper that week.

– Selv

The Cloth vs. Plastic Debate

I believe that all of us have engaged in this debate in one form or another. And we have good reasons for doing so, for it is going to affect our way of life. For better or worse, you might ask. Let us explore this topic a little then.

We have been hearing stories of just how many manufacturers have been switching from plastic-backed to cloth-backed products. Abena, Tena, Molicare, you name it. But why is this mass migration taking place? It all boils down somewhat to an obscure 2009 EU Ecolabel regulation on sanitary products. In a nutshell, it intends to regulate the environmental impact of all sanitary products, of which incontinence products, including diapers, are included. The only tangible benefit is that environmentally-conscious consumers will be drawn to products carrying this EU Ecolabel logo.

But the real driving force comes from the vast consumer base of the diaper manufacturers themselves. You see, any good business will do their research studiously. They will reach out to their customers and end-users, and the good businesses will take steps to address their needs and concerns. If not, they simply will lose their customers. It is important to note at this juncture that the bulk of the target group would be people like the elderly, terminally ill, and the incontinent. The other two groups – ABDLs and longshiftworkers – form a small proportion of these businesses.

Plastic-bcked diapers have been the norm for many years. We know them as the reliable one-piece backing garment that is very good with water-retention. You’d adjust the tapes at most once, and they retain their stickiness for a very long period. People are also very attached to plastic-backed as most ABDLs wore plastic-backed disposables themselves when they were kids. Yet, we all can’t ignore the two biggest drawbacks of plastic – their crinkles are very noisy, which reduces discreteness. They also have a notorious reputation for trapping heat, which can be very uncomfortable if you live in a tropical country like Singapore.

Cloth-backed diapers are new and emerging. First the baby diapers started the switch, but it took several years, and some EU policy *coughs unceremoniously* before adult diapers followed suit. Breathable? Not everyone agrees on this one, see below. Low-adhesive tapes? Everyone agrees on this, though Tena has some good tapes. But when it comes to discreetness, I think cloth wins hands down. Admittedly, the biggest drawback for me is that price wise, they have some catching up to do. (I can get 24 Tena Values for the price of 12 Tena Slips).

But I guess that the biggest misconception that the diapered-public has about cloth-backed diapers is this. They have a plastic-backing too. Only, it is directly under the padding area only and it is very thin.

 Diaper Meme

Yes folks, the truth is out. This explains so much about cloth’s shortcomings! Liquid in over-soaked diapers simply escapes out of the sides. The sides are the portion that is breathable. So, in researching for this post, I’ve come to realise that when I buy a cloth-backed diaper, I am actually buying a plastic-backed diaper with a cloth cover. No wonder these are so pricey.

And that is the ‘dirty’ truth about cloth-backed. The fact is, the majority of tape-on diaper users want cloth-backed. And given that the big players European players i.e Abena and Tena are already switching to cloth, it is only a matter of time before the smaller players and their American counterparts bite the bullet.

Fortunately, there is a ray of hope. Two rays, to be exact. The first is the fact that these big companies haven’t completely shut down their plastic-backed lines. Remember, there are the incontinents who prefer plastic too. The older plastic Abena and the Tena Value (Tena Slip Original in Europe) are a testament to this. Then there are also the ABDL-centric diaper manufacturers. Bambino, Fabines, ABU(though it seems everyone is boycotting them). There are the newer manufacturers, such as AwwSoCute and Diaper Connoisseur. So, plastic will live on.

But I realise that many people are not giving cloth a second chance. They try a pack or two, and they conclude that it is not their type. I respect their conclusion. It is just that I feel many of these people aren’t giving enough time and effort into making it work for them. It is just like getting a new phone. If you’ve been on iPhones (3GS, 4S, 5S) for many years and you try out a Samsung Galaxy Note 4, you just can’t get the hang of it in a week. It would take several weeks before you get around its visible flaws and discover the hidden benefits.

For me, discreetness is top priority, and as I spend most of my time diapered asleep, wetness is not an issue. So cloth-backed is my preferred backing. Sadly, these are just too expensive, and I only get them as a special treat.

What I really wish is for the greater ABDL community to give cloth a greater chance, and more time before writing them off. The vast majority simply swear by plastic, and I wish that they would try out various cloth-backed brands before coming to their conclusion. I am sure that they have tried several plastic-backed brands before choosing their ‘favourite diaper’.

– Selv

As One Chapter Comes To An End, Another Begins

Today marks my first day as a civilian in 2 years. Yes, I have completed my mandatory stint in the military at long last. I’ll leave the emotional ramblings to my real-life social media(sorry I can’t let you guys see that), here I will discuss something else. I refer to the military here as i served in the Army, but this would apply to the conscript policemen and civil defencemen too.

Wearing diapers, even periodically, greatly affects one’s ability to serve. Be it as a regular, or in a conscript service, wearing diapers has its effect. I have discussed this in previous posts, but I wish to bring this up again today.

Firstly, you cannot wear diapers in your military barracks or bunks. People will scorn you, commanders may think you have serious (psychological) medical problems, fellow soldiers/policemen would shun you as an oddball etc. Not to mention physical difficulties, such as chafing during intense combat training, lack of time and hygiene to change and the lack of storage space for diapers. Smell would be a big problem, mostly for those around you. I have worn a diaper in camp, but this was attempted on a night where there was almost no one else in the bunk, so it is best to NOT attempt it if the coast isn’t clear. I don’t advocate wearing diapers in camp, or during training. Unless you are an incontinent with a valid reason to do so.

Secondly, keeping diapers at home would be an issue always at the back of your mind. Most conscript servicemen would be allowed to go home for the weekend. So that is the likely time that people would wear. Go ahead, nothing is stopping you here. But there are a few things to consider, especially if your folks don’t know about your diapers. There will always be the fear that they would accidentally discover your stash. You amy not have cleared your computer’s browser history and they might go snooping around. You may have ‘odours’ left behind in your room, and that could trigger an internet audit of your accounts. Even mindlessly leaving a receipt of purchase for your diaper-stuff may result in a full-fledged war to ‘purge’ you. Things happen, especially if you let your guard down.

Then there is the actual usage of diapers. If you use diapers for two days e.g. at night, then your body would have to adjust back to using the toilet when you go back to camp. For those into messing, there is also the chance you might ‘hold’ in your ‘garbage’, waiting until you could use a diaper. The longer the ‘holding’ period, the higher the potential damage it poses to your body. And if you go 24/7 for even two days, one might run the risk of having an ‘accident’.

One thing that most people could never do without is their handphone. Even if your phone doesn’t have a camera, chances are that it has access to the internet (through wi-fi, 3G etc). And chances are very high that you might access diaper-related websites, or view ABDL social media on that phone, sometimes even downloading pictures for later viewing. Or even keep a picture of your own diapered escapades. If your friends grab a hold of your phone, and they come across these content, their view on you could change completely. That’s because ABDLism isn’t a widely accepted kink as, say, BDSM. So there is that worry.

You could say that I had quite a bit at the back of my mind during my army days. To my fellow Singaporean boys who are embarking their NS journey, my advice to you is to keep your ABDLedness and diapers to a bare minimum. You can’t ignore these urges completely, but you can mitigate them. And don’t wear diapers to training. Period.

Now, to prepare for university.

ORD loh!

Mess, Confessions and ‘Contributions’

Sometimes we get reminded of the desire to wear diapers in the most undesirable ways. Today I stopped by at a public restroom at Eunos MRT station, at about 6pm. Located behind the standing-urinals are the cubicles, and I noticed that one of them was pretty messed up. Lying on the floor was a BIG pile of poop, which seemed to have been smeared all over the cubicle floor. The underwear was lying there too, with most of the poop still in it. I didn’t stare, but it was of medium size, a size that would have been worn by a 20-something youth. It really begs the question : Who the f*ck would leave their sh*t on the floor, for the elderly janitors to clean up after them? Did he have an ‘accident’, I don’t know. But still, just leaving it there? I felt more sad for the elderly janitors than curious about what had happened.

Lately I’ve been thinking of the hypothetical situation where I would have to eventually tell my girlfriend about my DL tendencies. Though that day is very far off, a series of people asking for advice on ADISC has really left me wondering what would be the best way to go about telling her, and how much should I reveal. While this matter has been subject to fierce debate over and over again, the general consensus is yes, tell her everything, then come to an agreement about it and stick to it. While I’d love to fall in love with a girl who is already in diapers, I would say that the chances of meeting such a girl in Singapore is close to zero. Therefore the possibility of confessing my DL tendencies to a girl from a conservative Asian society must be taken seriously. *Shudders at the thought*

I’ve been reading through the fine print of my publishing agreement, and as most publishers are based in the US, I’ve come to the realisation that I have no choice but to forfeit 30% in taxes to the US government. This is due to the lack of a tax treaty between the Singaporean and American Governments, which also means that I would have to pay tax to the IRAS as well :(. This means that effectively, I’m being forced to ‘contribute’ to US atrocities such as the wars and NSA spying. This I’m not happy about at all! Or, I could just not publish my book…

-Selv

Are All DLs Fetishists too?

It is a very well-known fact that a large majority of ABDLs find their diapers to be sexually stimulating. Some use their diapers all the time for this effect, some use it part time.

Then there is the other camp, which use diapers as a security blanket. They find comfort in wearing them and/or using them, and life would become noticeably more uncomfortable if they were to give them up. I choose to identify with this camp.

But here is the problem: definitions. Here are two summarised ones, all summarised from the first page of their respective Google searches:

FetishistA person who attains sexual arousal through the use of an object
Diaper LoverA person who likes and/or is interested in wearing diapers. Most definitions state that DLs are in fact Diaper Fetishists.

I had asked this question on a forum in ADISC a week ago. It drew some strong responses from the good people there, who were somewhat weary of this question, understandably. Some mentioned the ‘true’ meaning of the word fetish – an attraction to an object, regarded as sacred. But others noted that the word itself automatically evokes a sexual nature.

Many people admitted that they found their diapers sexually stimulating, or that they had erections and the like when they wore them. Yes, some people do find them sexual, that is why Tumblr is chock full of erotica-laced pictures. But surely there are those who find just comfort in them?

I read on, some mentioned that there is psychological comfort, identity issues involved, possible reactions due to late toilet-training even. That is why some people could find comfort and security in diapers.

Others questioned why I looked too much into definitions and motioned to me to not worry about what others think about me, and what I thought about myself was all that mattered. Okay… I appreciate your concern but you aren’t helping me.

I had also taken issue with how virtually all official sources on the internet were saying that there’s no such thing as ‘Diaper Lover’, only Diaper Fetishists. BULLSHIT! DFs are a subset of DLs! Even Wikipedia removed it’s original page about DLs and instead redirects users to the Diaper Fetish page. What would a teenager googling think when he/she sees that? Is this the internet’s way of scaring off potential new DLs and ABs? Wikipedia, Google and other search Engines have the power to mask true definitions, and that is a very unsettling fact. Because the first impression presented to others is very important.

The ABDL community itself doesn’t really help with this regard. Even we all don’t agree with one fixed definition. Some treat Diaper Fetish Synonymously with Diaper Lovers. Pui! But it happenes, sadly. Like what HeyYoungBlood mentioned, he drew the analogy to oranges vs. fruits. All oranges are fruits, but not all fruits are oranges. Same concept.

People brought up the issue of why we humans need to create labels for ourselves and for other members of our species. Some suggested that identity was the reason, others suggested that it is for self-glorification, as well as to downplay others. DF seems like one such example of the latter. Dogboy mentioned Trevor’s quote that people get carried away relying too heavily on labels.

Ultimately, I feel that people who are Diaper Lovers may have diaper fetishes too. But not all DLs are DFs. This people must understand. I don’t know how I’m going to make the layman understand this, the layman who only yesterday Googled the term for the first time. But I need to clear my name. I’m not a pedophile, I don’t have sexual kinks. I’m just a regular guy who likes to wear diapers, out of sight, out of mind of the world. Hopefully this blog post helps people understand.

– Selv