I am at a tipping point. My personal life at this point is in a mess, no matter how much I’ve been trying to spruce it up. There’s so much to say but this isn’t the correct place. 

I had to mention this because it is having an obvious effect on my ABDL life. I’ve not been able to put out content on my blog and patreon, though my tumblr posts have been going on as per the queue.

I’m how to do what I have to do. I’m so old yet I haven’t achieved any of the perimeters of success my friends have achieved, and I am at a loss. 

The only thing that had been going on somewhat well for me was my ABDL sphere, even now it has been reduced to just wearing diapers. I need time to build up again. I was never a big player in the scene, didn’t really want to be. What started out as a platform for me to write down my thoughts and organise them so that a future significant other could read with ease slowly started branching out. 

But I rarely interact with people. I get that guys don’t want to interact with another guy, and that’s the way the world works, but it gets lonely. All that work that I put out last year, about 3/4 was in the public sphere. But beyond a couple of likes and 3 people writing that they liked a particular story, no one else is talking about it. I get that no one wants to waste money for a patreon page without picture of girls in diapers, but what about my tumblr feed?

Maybe I should stop creating. Maybe I’m not really contributing to ABDL literature. Maybe in a few years there won’t be anyone who reads anymore – all will move towards viewing pictures and videos. Tell me, who cares about the wellbeing, the thought processes John Grisham or Robert Harris? Or even WBDaddy or Kita Sparkles? The difference here is that they have made been rewarded respectively. I made eyes roll.

I was chatting with Paul, the editor of WetSet, a well-known fantasy publication. He said that the world has moved on and that we have to move with it. People expect stories for free, he said. 

Look, I understand that whining on the internet to the bots won’t make a difference – it only makes readers uncomfortable. But I’ve tried a lot of things that don’t work, might as well try this.

– Disgruntled


Moving Things Along

I’ve been home for a second week now and I’ve not done much of the creative things I’ve set out to do.

Truth is, when you are at home all the folks make you do stuff. At times you just want to say no, but 75% of the time it will be me who eventually has to do that particular task. From bringing out grandma for appointments to doing X number of (non-regular) household tasks. I don’t really want to complain, but when it is lumped together in one go it can be a bit depressing. Siblings aren’t lifting a helping finger either.

But I have been doing some work. I have managed to plan out what content is coming out and when. Things are taking time to start up, but I want to create a buffer of sorts before I start posting.

My Tumblr Short Stories initiative is currently stuttering and sputtering. I really need to place my ass on my seat and make sure that I produce at least one story a week for people to read. That is going to be my income giver and I must admit that I’m messing this up. So starting today I’ll start posting one story a week at least.

Coming to Patreon, you guys may have noticed how quiet things are down there. I’ll admit that it’s much MUCH harder than I thought it would be but then again I am to blame for the slow pace as well. So I’ve come up with a little something to move things along.

The premise of the entire Patreon venture was to start off an Animated series. Things are going slow, but it is moving. I will start off with a series of test sequences to get my drawing and animation skills up to par first.

– Selv




The new year is shaping up to be very hectic. Time is already very rare as it is, and this year it’s going to be even harder to find. I’m taking modules that I despise, was drawn into a CCA that keeps leeching off my skills and has now thrust me into a key position that I don’t want, and my roommate now does not have a structured schedule as he is back from his industrial attachment, meaning lesser diaper time for me.

I think it is the last one that is threatening to overwhelm me. Because I really want to be able to spend time writing diaper stories. I didn’t expect my involvement in my cca to really take up so much time and energy. I made a very very bad mistake. They just squeeze me dry, by saying that that no one else knows how to do it (for free), but keep overloading me with other tasks.

I mean, I really want to work on my ABDL writing. The only piece of writing I managed to publish last year, at the expense of my exams unfortunately, was a seriously panned piece that I sent for the ABDL Story Forum competition. I got 5 votes. My book is stalled, my short story compilation is stalled, and the idea I had for an ABDL cartoon has also not left the sketchbook. They told me not to join that CCA. But I did (for a reason that I can’t write here cos it will identify a certain aspect of me).

So how did I spend my New Year? I welcomed 2017 from bed, sick from a very high fever and splitting headache. I’m not sure if it is a metaphor for what’s in store for me this year. On the love front, I’m keeping fingers crossed that, as prophesied by my aunt, this is the year I get attached. An ABDL girl would be good and not likely, but she having an open mind is crucial.

I’m sitting here at the National Library writing this post for tonight, having skipped a committee outing because I don’t feel like it. I woke up late this morning, in a dry diaper, realising I had an hour to get to the workshop being conducted here. I just rolled around because I didn’t want to make off my dry diaper.

But, I didn’t want to be barred from attending future courses, so I grabbed an Uber, and I reached on-the-dot. Still wearing my night-me diaper. It’s the first time I was attending a class wearing a plastic-backed diaper, and I’m really happy that it didn’t make a sound. Although it did start bulging a little later on, I managed to pull my shirt over to hide it.

I think the first months of 2017 will be spent questioning my identity, whether I will continue to be a Singapore resident, whether I want to be an engineer, whether I really want an ABDL girl as a soulmate (or should I settle for a vanilla lady), and whether I should take a more religious stance to life, whether I should follow my father’s or mother’s culture, and other whethers. But one thing that I do want to do is to contribute more to local charity, as well as the ABDL production scene.

– Selv

Hiatus Alert

I’ve been occupied for the past few weeks so I’ve been unable to post. Great-granduncle has been hospitalised and several other things have been going on.

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time in diapers. I averaged 2 diapers, 20 hours a day for the past weekdays and I think that’s quite ok. The Tena Slips hold quite a bit. But I’ve been buying them at undiscounted prices, cos the usual places I go are too far from school.

Also, I’m taking part in the ongoing Halloween Story Contest at the ABDL Story Forum. I won’t say which story it is that I wrote to be fair to the others, though some aspects may give it away. Please do check out the page, there are very good entries there indeed. Polling has not opened yet but when it does, please vote for the story that you like 🙂

The exam season is approaching and I should stop fooling around, so you won’t be seeing much of me. I’m expecting my next post to be on the 3rd of Dec, so that’s quite a break.

Take care people and all the best to those taking their exams too!

– Selv

Diaper Stories

I’ve been watching the ABDL story scene for a while now. And there seems to be a decline in this area. Either that or everyone’s posting somewhere else.

ADISC suffered a dearth in its stories forums when they did their overhaul. The Stories forum was made private such that only logged-in members could view them, and many of the good quality older stories got removed. Was it necessary to do a blanket deletion of all the stories just to weed out the stories containing underaged characters?

The mods themselves have mentioned that underaged people were barred from the site only on a just-in-case basis. So they may have their reasons for it, but overall, it caused a loss in many good stories. The good thing is, many people reposted their stories. The bad thing is, after the initial hype died down, there were fewer contributions. Today, there are but a few regulars frequenting that forum, way quieter than during its heyday. There are good stories and good writers, but there are poorly written stories as well.

Then there is the abdl story forum (ASF). As far as I can tell the mods didn’t do any major tweaking, but the effect the same is with ADISC – few regulars, few stories, some are rotten potatoes. From what I see, it’s been a slow decline over there at ASF. They used to have story competitions, but they have been discontinued in the previous few years due to lack of participation.

Having said that, they are having another go at it. They’re hosting a Halloween story writing contest, with separate categories for scary and non-scary stories so if you want to warm yourself up for NaNoWriMo, do give it a shot!

There’s the Daily Diapers forum but I haven’t been scanning through that. And then there’s ABDL Stories Homestead, where many stories are very very similar to each other. Let’s not forget Deviantart, which mixes in artwork with storytelling. Deviantart as far as I can tell from an outsider, is doing well with regards to the ABDL scene. But that’s because people want to see pictures.

Which leads me to wonder, why?

The thought that comes to mind is the proliferation of social media. For us ABDL’s, that would mainly be Tumblr, Instagram and Snapchat. With varied content available on these platforms, people are able to interact directly with each other, but at a cost – girls are getting harassed. Guys hiding behind a keyboard are spewing filth at these people(girls and guys), just because they can be anonymous. Sure, it is just a small group. But these so-called ‘content creators’ will tone down as a result, and then everyone suffers.

But back to the topic of ABDL stories.

With these social media platforms offering netizens more of what they want to see, traditional forums and story forums are seeing a decline. Which is what I think is the main cause of the decline in stories – the lack of forum users leads to a lack in stories. A lack in stories leads to the lack in members critiquing. A lack of discussion then leads to authors changing their platforms. I know of at least one writer who has experienced this, and I’m that person.

Beyond that, we must acknowledge that people are also seeking to publish their writings online, either in e-book format or in other pay-to-view arrangements. With e-publishers like Smashwords, Amazon, Lulu and others, it is very easy to go online. Reaching readers can be a problem but otherwise the monetary incentive is a big draw for authors who have that calibre.

While I’m not expecting a total, irreversible decline of the story forums, that is what it is looking like now. The thing is, we can’t force people to write. Like any creative work, it takes time and mood to concoct a good story. It would be easy for me to say ‘hey, just organise a competition with attractive prizes and people will participate’, but as noted, participation rates are low.

Ultimately, the motivation to write comes from the demand that readers supply. Some write for fun, but arguably the best things come from author and auteurs who receive renumeration. #rowling #spielberg

NaNoWriMo is coming in 2 months. If not for my uni exams, I would be taking part in it.

– Selv


I was lounging about in my room yesterday afternoon, lazily working on my story. The folks were at work and grandma was having her afternoon nap. It was a blissful moment, time was passing slowly. But the afternoon calm was shattered by the sound of the doorbell ringing!

Was my mum home already? Panicking, I stood up and tried in vain to tug off my diaper. Just then, my grandma started to knock on my door, asking me to go open the door. And there I was, trapped in a noisy Certainty diaper that was pulled 1/3 of the way down. With no  options left, I pulled on my shorts, shuffled my footsteps loudly and made my way to the front door.

Lo and behold, it was an official from the NEA, requesting permission to enter our premises to conduct checks for mosquito breeding spots. He explained that it was the height of the dengue season, and that the nearby block of flats had been identified as a Dengue cluster, hence the enforcement checks. With Zika fears spreading worldwide, our NEA has been extra vigilant with their yearly campaign this year.

I was so afraid that my diaper would start to crinkle, but I realised that it was now being stretched quiet. I followed him, as he inspected the toilets and kitchen, before seeing him out. Thankfully, he didn’t find any mozzie hazards, or I’d have had to take the corrective action there and then. And thankfully, neither he nor my grandma noticed my diaper.

I’ve been updating my blog, fixing a few broken links and adding stuff. You can read my review of the Fairprice Safe Control Diapers, as well as access the review of the Certainty Diapers. Thanks guys for pointing out that the link was broken! I’ve also added 2 Tumblr short stories. I know I promised to write every week, but I apologise for not keeping that promise, it has been a physical and emotional roller coaster these past few months.

– Selv


Time Heals Scars

I’ve been reading some old comments posted about my first ABDL story, The Girl Who Wondered If Only. The main criticism is that most people couldn’t find it plausible that such a thing could happen in real life. I admit that, yes it is an ABDL story after all. But I thought I’d share with you the basis for the idea.

It comes from the toilet training story of my second sister, who I’ll call Pri (P.S., read: Pree). I’m the eldest of three children, and I have two younger sisters. My first sister was toilet trained much quicker than me, by age 3 and taking 4 months. I took longer because I started late, I was done by 4.5 years and it took me 5 months. You can read that story here.

But it took my second sister Pri nearly 10 months! None of our cousins came close to breaking that record. I still remember the incident clearly.

We were staying over at my grandparents’ house. My dad and first sister were out of the house. I was playing with Pri, who had just turned 2. My mum was talking to grandma. Their conversation was along the line of when to start toilet training Pri. At one point, Pri stopped what she was doing and her facial expression became concentrated. Immediately, my mum, emboldened by the chat, stood up and pulled up her dress, and ripped off her diaper! Pri was wailing and crying, saying “no, no” as she was carried to the kitchen toilet. I tried to side her but grandma promptly sent me back to the living room.

For nearly 5 minutes, there was a lot of noise coming from the bathroom as the two ladies tried to coax Pri to poop. I guess a two year old could not understand what was going on, as she kept saying ‘no’, ‘no, ‘don’t want’.

I was sitting shell-shocked on the sofa. I had just started ‘borrowing’ diapers from her, and now they were going away? And what about Pri? I no longer had the job of telling my mum that she had pooped? It was officially Day 1 of toilet training, all over again. In hindsight, that was first time I ever did some soul-searching in my life.

But the ordeal hadn’t ended yet. Suddenly, there were really loud screams from mum and grandma, followed by throat-tearing screams from Pri. I ran to the bathroom, panicking. It seemed that they had put Pri on the toilet without a child-seat. And she had fallen in. My mum pulled her out and hugged her, but you could clearly see the fear in Pri’s face. Nobody else saw her pooping on my mother’s pants.

The damage was severe. Unlike for me and my first sis, Pri hadn’t been gradually introduced to the toilet. They had tried to toilet train her the olden way – by forcing it onto her when she was too young to realise. But it backfired. For the next few days, Pri was to scared to even go near the toilet during shower times. Eventually, my aunt suggested a potty chair and with much coaxing, two months later she was pee-trained in the daytime.

But she absolutely would not poop in the potty-chair. She started to hold it in, till her night time diaper, then she would go. When my mum realised the tactic, she would not put on the diaper until after she fell asleep. But she would then poop in her diaper first thing in the morning. This continued for a few months, I guess because my parents didn’t know what to do. Years later, I realised that she continued to bed wet because she was holding in her poop. See bedwetting for the specifics.

Anyway, six months after the initial incident, there came a short stretch where she was dry in the mornings. The result was that she no longer needed diapers but, still fearful of the toilet, she started to poop in her underwear. The bedwetting started again, but this time my parents decided to go cold-turkey. My father also punished her for this, so she clearly knew that it was wrong. However, with little progress, the diapers returned within a week.

I believe that she used the ‘Drypers’ brand. Pri slowly stopped her bedwetting, but she still got to wear a diaper at night, and was given one hour extra in the morning for her to do her business. By now she was peeing in the toilet, due to peer pressure in school, but she still refused to poop in it. The trick that had worked for me, that is a hole in my diaper on the toilet, and caning, didn’t work for her as she saw through that. I remember I used to ‘hide’ Pri behind the laundry basket, under a pillow in a sort of ‘clothes-fort’ while she did her deed. My first sis preferred to catch her red-handed, but it was rare as her school was in the morning session.

Eventually, the rules were tightened greatly, and her new Nursery 2 school teacher started to be more proactive. With great peer pressure, tight rules and time healing the scar, she finally decided that she didn’t want diapers any more.

You can see here that it took a lot of effort to undo the initial incident of falling into the toilet. It took a long time for Pri to get convinced that the toilet wasn’t going to harm her. That is the basis for The Girl Who Wondered If Only.

– Selv

Two New Tumblr Stories

In case you guys missed it. I’ve been doing this series for a while now. It’s nice to have a picture that you can associate with the story. I know that a few others do this too, but I have a certain theme, which I’ll let you guys observe.

Poulet Tikka Masala (The title is a reference to Despicable Me 2)

College Potty Woes

You may check out the rest of my Tumblr inspired short stories here. Picture credit goes to their respective owners.

Happy New Year

Hi guys,

I haven’t got much today, just wanted to drop a note saying that I’m still around.

2014 was a somewhat good year for my DL life, it was the only year apart from 2009 in which I didn’t get caught wearing diapers by my parents. Hope this trend sticks.

It was also the year in which my writing came out in full force. I had been writing ABDL stories ever since I was in secondary school, though I didn’t know what the genre was back then. But 2014 was the year in which I started a blog. My thoughts finally had a place of their own and while my presence over at ADISC continues to increase, I feel that being able to operate without restrictions has let me speak out on topics which are important to me. Especially Singapore-related topics.

My Serious Reflection series will continue, and this time I plan to have at the very least one a month. I’ll try my best to stick to the posting schedule with posts up my Saturday, 11.30pm latest, and I’ll try, but no promises for Tuesday posts. Trivia: according to WordPress Stats, the most read post was ‘How to Keep A Child In Diapers Part 2’.

On a side note, Chapter 7 of You Didn’t See Anything, Charissa is now available to read in the ADISC Stories section.

In real life, I’ve gotten a little busier now. I’ve gotten a 9-5 temporary job with a comfortable pay, at least till Uni starts. I’m getting new pet mice next week. And not to mention getting fit and studying at the same time.

Inevitably in 2015 I’d spend less time diapered, but I will still devote a chunk of my free time to ABDL writing.

Wish you guys a very Happy New Year


Teaser Snippet

I’ve been working on the sequel to my first story, and hopefully I can keep my promise and publish it at the start of next year.  To those who haven’t read the original, I invite you to read the story in it’s entirety at ADISC or here.

We have read about The Girl Who Wondered If Only, how about now we read about The Parent Who Wondered If Only.

Mr Tan may have felt frustrated when he shouted at his college-bound daughter, but seeing her walking around wearing the crinkling garment strengthened his resolve slightly.

“Girl, stand up”.

Quickly putting down her pillow, she rose to her feet. Her father had returned to his spot.

“Take off your diaper.”

His words caught her off guard.

“B-but Dad..”

“NOW!”, he roared.