If Kids Never Quit…

Sometimes parents worry about how their kid may never give up ‘that babyish thing’. Like when their six year old kid is still drinking from a milk bottle every night, or still wears diapers.

This video is in part a parody on this concept, of how much parents, mums in particular, worry when their kid hasn’t ‘given it up yet’. It’s also supposed to motivate parents to press on, but not to woes too much as they eventually will get it, that nobody doesn’t just stay in diapers… right?

But the thing is, such people do exist. Welcome to the ABDL community! Yea, we do give up our diapers, bottles, pacis for a couple of years but it restarts anyway. Yup, we wonder about what if we hadn’t become ABDLAnd yup, we are proud of it mostly, just like the ladies in the video!

You can watch this video here.

– Selv

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Tutter The Mouse

I came across one of Tutter’s anxiety memes on twitter recently and I went looking around on youtube for it. I wasn’t disappointed. Bear In The Big Blue House was one of my favourite shows and I spent quite a bit of my time rediscovering some episodes.

I think Tutter was my favourite character from this show, I liked him even more than Bear, there was something about his personality which just clicked with me, even at that young age.

– Selv

An Ageplay Insight

The ABDL community has always been negatively regarded by the mainstream and they usually think we have some sexual connotation about it. And usually when you see journalistic pieces on the subject it usually has a sensationalist streak to it, portraying ABDLs as people who have had issues.

This recent piece by a Dutch outfit is a little different. It focuses on Ageplayers and tries to be a bit objective in its portrayal of the participants. No background dissecting, no generalising. But they touch on the topics close to all of us.

You can watch this YouTube video here. Be sure to switch on the subtitles.

– Selv

Near Miss

So, my little cousin has this bad habit of coming into my room and checking out my stuff, whenever she visits. It’s a nightmare, really. While I keep my diapers and stuff in school, I have left some things at home.

One fine day my dad insisted that I take two cupboards that my mum didn’t want anymore. Despite my protests he forced me to help him carry them up to my room and my little cousin gleefully followed, watching me get scolded about ‘talking back’. So we put the cupboards down and my dad starts ranting about how my second clothes closet is full of non-clothes. And he guilt-trips me into opening them. And I thought nothing was exposed.

Until my cousin, who is seven years old short, spotted my enema bucket. It is a completely clear, transparent plastic container roughly the size of a small Milo tin, and she has an eye for all things sleek and shiny. She didn’t know what it was. But of course she wanted it!

There was this awkward pause moment where she insisted that she wanted it and I kept saying no. I even grabbed it and put it higher, but she wanted it to put her brown fake-gemstones (the irony), and all this while my dad was standing there, wondering what in the world could that thing be.

I managed to fend her off by giving her a similar shaped transparent plastic container that was the cover for my stack of blank CDs (a relic from the previous decade). But it gave me a scare. Did my dad suspect something? He didn’t ask anything, but I think he does suspect something.

Promptly, I packed it and brought it with me to school the next day.

– Selv

Tena Slip Plus Diapers

The Tena Slip Plus diapers are produced by the SCA group and sold worldwide, mainly in Europe and Australia. Tena is a very well-known maker of incontinence aids. It makes several classes, with subclasses in between. The Tena Slip Super comes in five sizes: XS, S, M, L and XL. However, like the Super most shops here only carry M and L sizes. It has an absorbency colour code blue.

M – 72-122cm (28-48 in)

L –92-144cm (36-56 in)

This review is based on the M sized Slip Plus diapers I got from NTUC Fairprice for S$9.00. These cloth-backed diapers, which sport the new design introduced in 2017, were bought in mid-2017.

 

 

Appearance and Features
Tena has revised its Slip line recently, after what they say was an extensive outreach to end-users and care providers. These diapers are cloth-backed, have standing leak guards, wetness indicators as well as an elastic back waistband.  They also have a ‘Feel Dry Layer’ at the crotch area, which spreads out wetness to allow for faster absorption. This diaper uses a four-tape system. So far, it has all the features that the Super and Maxi diaper lines also have.

When folded the diaper measures 17 by 23.5 cm with the height of about 2 cm. When unfolded the diaper measures 65cm lengthwise, with a generous 30cm of it being the actual padding. Top to bottom the diaper measures 78cm, 57cm of it padded and the narrowest part has a width of 27cm, 15cm of it padded. The elastic waistband measures 11cm, but expands to 16cm when fully stretched. These dimensions are very similar to the Super except it is slightly thinner when folded.

front outstretched

back outstretched

Like its cousins, the TSP doesn’t have a frontal patch. The tapes latch in directly to the cloth backing itself using Velcro-type fasteners (Tena calls the ‘extra-wide hook tapes’). These can be refastened a few times. What I like about them is their quietness compared to other brands. Being a cloth-backed diaper they don’t crinkle at all, but do the job just as well!

The backsheet backing of the diaper is cloth-backed with Tena’s proprietary ConfioAir for extra breathability for the skin. As mentioned, the cloth-backing doesn’t crinkle at all, this providing a discrete user experience when wearing. The wetness indicator runs down the diaper from front to back. Taking the shape of five by two thin dotted lines running from the front to the back of the diaper, they are blue in colour, and disappear when the diaper is wet.

It also has the diaper’s info on it, stating clearly its 6/8 drops rating as well as its size. Guess it makes things easier for caregivers in large institutions.

The standing leak guards also run from top to bottom of the diaper. They are initially curled in, and can be adjusted to further standing position. The the topsheet is lined with a soft cloth-like cover, which is gentle to the skin and does not irritate it. Dermatologically tested and claiming to promote healthier skin, the entire diaper allows the skin to breathe a little.

ena Slip Super Feel Dry Layer

The FeelDry layer draws liquid away from the topsheet quickly and into the core below it. The second picture is the other side of the FeelDry Layer from a TSS.

The FeelDry™ Layer is also present in the TSP, which is a nice gesture given it is marketed as a cheaper alternative to the Super. It consists of 2 parts. The main thing is a core that looks like a pad within a diaper. It lies directly under a special patch slightly below the crotch area which acts as an Azkaban for liquid trapped within. Tena says that even under pressure the liquid within doesn’t escape.

The Tena Slip lines also features the SuperFit band, an elastic waistband at the very back top of the diaper. It is placed in between the backsheet and topsheet layers and thus doesn’t irritate the skin. This ensures comfort and a snug fit for the user. It also acts as a last barrier of sorts against liquid from flowing out when the user is lying down (though given it’s absorbency you probably wouldn’t reach such a situation).

Performance And Fit
These diapers fit my average-sized frame nicely, and were snug and comfortable. Being cloth-backed, the top of the leg gathers didn’t scratch away at my inner thighs from time to time when walking, and prevented the hard-plastic tapes from scratching me. The diaper was quiet, as quiet as underwear if not for the occasional creak of the velcro in the tapes under strain, but to the untrained ear these would be inaudible.

I walked around malls, took busses, sat down on hard seats, and the tapes never budged. One good thing was the cloth-backing greatly minimised trapping sweat, so the inner-thighs were spared the discomfort felt with plastic-backed diapers.

The standing leak guards do their job well, with no leakages experienced when flooding a fresh diaper. They have a decent amount of SAP, holding about 1.5-2.5 medium wettings, on par with the Tena Value and better than a Certainty Diaper. Tena markets the TSP with an absorption guide of 6 out of 8 droplets (it doesn’t give an ml value for the TSP but for the 7/8 drops TSS it is 1400ml). The odour neutraliser does its’ work, but I notice that about 3 hours after wetting the ammonia smell does become noticeable. But as 3 hours is the threshold for changing a wet diaper, this would be a small technicality. They hold messes well, with no messy leaks.

The big plus for this diaper is that you don’t feel the bulk of the diaper, until it is nearing capacity. Even when wearing semi-tight jeans you can still see the shape of your body as if you are wearing underwear, though after a wetting it expands. It doesn’t over-expand near capacity, but then again it does have a lower capacity.

Final Thoughts
This is the fourth cloth-backed adult diaper I’ve tried, and I gladly say that this is now my go-to diaper. The snugness of the cloth-backing is just right and it doesn’t expand wildly when wet. With its excellent discreetness, retention ability, and acceptable absorbency level, this diaper is one that is to be recommended to any diaper-user that I meet. As with the Slip Super, Tena has done a very good job with coming up with these diapers!

Perhaps the main thing I don’t like about these diapers are its design – it is clearly meant to make it easy for caregivers, but isn’t that fashionable from an AB perspective. The capacity is low, perhaps on par with a Tena Value diaper, but given it’s rating that is understandable.

Price wise, at U.P. $0.93 a piece it is very decent given all the features packed into it. It is value for money in terms of absorbency, fit and discreetness. Not for prolonged use, but definitely recommended for day-to day use.

And Then, A Flute Recital

I had the opportunity to watch my seven year old cousin’s dance recital at her dance school, TFA. I was thinking about skipping it, but since my mum and grandma were going, and I was going to be in the area earlier in the day, I decided to hang around.

Karma hit me like a brick the instant I stepped in. You see, this was the same institution where I was learning how to play the flute till I was twelve. And coming back (albeit to their new premises) after twelve long years, in which I had written my three major Singaporean exams and done my national service, I truly felt dizzy. But I swallowed it. I’m a stranger now, no one recognises me anymore.

Ah, but not really. I saw several familiar faces, several older staff. Remember the brick that hit me when I stepped in? Let me describe it.

There was this girl, AP, who I met in my university, whom I had a chance to perform with in February. She was chatting with her friend beside the door to the show’s room, and I struck up an awkward conversation with her. Explaining my crush on her is a story for another day, but my guess is that she guessed I liked her, so…

Anyway, I had started talking to her and her friend noticed the spark. And out of the door comes my cousin’s dance class. And my cousin too. And my aunt, running after her. I tried to introduce my cousin to AP, but she ignores me and walks on, engrossed and excited along with her classmates. This is where my erstwhile aunt grabs me by my sleeve and drags me away from AP (to help take a photograph). I didn’t even have a chance to say bye to her. My aunt does do that from time to time, but in that situation it was very embarrassing for me.

Brick having hit me, I slowly went into the performance room and sat beside my grandma. Dance recital 1, 2, 3 (my cousin’s). And then a FLUTE RECITAL.

All the reasons why I quit in September 2005 came back to me as I sat there. The favoritism, the racism towards my clan, my family’s finances and health back then. It was too much for me. I stood up and waited at the back. Lo and behold, the student’s teacher – my ex teacher – comes up and stands beside me.

I turn to say hi. He said hi. And I thought that was that. Fast forward to the end of the show, I had come out of the show room, and my flute teacher is reentering the room. I didn’t notice that right behind me were his students who had performed. So when I greeted him to start a conversation, he totally ignored me and went to greet his current students. It was a truly embarrassing moment.

I walked back to the area outside where there was a mini-carnival and there were food stalls and seats. My aunt and uncle were buying foodstuffs and sweets and I just sat there. My mum and aunt saw me shaken but they kept quiet. My uncle, who married my aunt in the 12 years preceding, was concerned and kept asking if I was alright but I kept saying yes, I was just tired, and stuff like that.

My folks and my mum wanted to stay on longer to watch another dance recital. My grandmother was feeling tired, so I called my dad to pick the two of us up after his work ended. As we were leaving, I confessed to my grandma that ‘my school friend’ (AP) was dancing in the second recital and I felt awkward about staying on. She chided me and suddenly wanted to stay on too, presumably to size her up?! But I reminded her that my dad was on the way.

That day was truly an emotional waterslide for me – it began on the high of my other event, and slid downwards very quickly afterwards. It’s a reminder to me, that there is a God (or at the very minimum some higher power) that has mandated that I go through this.

– Selv

Swimming in Schoolwork

A new school year has started and I’m continuing to exist in this superfluous train of lessons. It’s been a real struggle and I must admit I’m not coping with all. I still remain with the Photography society but I’ve decided it’s time to step down from the other cultural club.

I’ve been really busy these past 5 weeks, reason being I’ve been working part time for Deliveroo during the evenings. The whole month experience deserves a series of posts, which I’ll write separately as it has truly been an eye-opener for me.

But I’ve stopped working temporarily. I really cannot cope with my schoolwork anymore and I figured that I need the time to study. I still need the money. But as I don’t need it yet, work can wait.

Quitting the cultural club outright was a system shock for me. I left mainly because I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope with studies, work and a second CCA. But I new that if I stayed, they would squeeze me dry again. Which is fine since its part of your responsibilities. Except, I never really felt part of the gang. Of course I didn’t tell them  that but the incoming president must have sensed it.

But life can be cruel. Several members of this CCA attend the same Astronomy lecture as me and I, well, have friends now for that module. The president and the rest managed to convince me to remain part of one of their outreach groups – the Band Wing.

Which brought me to the doors of a music academy last week. To sign up for Flute lessons. To continue classes which I stopped 12 years ago. I am 24 now.

The trial session lasting 10 minutes was super awkward. I had to gatecrash another student’s lesson and borrow his flute. Holes appeared in my haven’t-played-for-12-years story when I could play the 7 notes with little trouble, but my new teacher didn’t really ask, and I don’t plan to tell him. Tell him that I played for a concert 6 months ago and was now an instrumentalist-to-be in an amateur band.

Life…

– Selv

Sensationalising Diapers?

I was reading a Channel NewsAsia article earlier this month about how a nursing home in Tokyo promotes independence in their residents. This concept is good for the seniors living there as it helps them regain their dignity and mobility.

But seeing the word ‘diapers’ in the title should have prepared me for the emphasis about it in the article.

Like how the article quotes how diapers are taken off when the resident first arrives. Sounds like a kindergarten removing a kid’s diaper. I found that sentence very iffy, but maybe that’s cos I’m an ABDL.

And how ‘other’ nursing homes use laxatives to manage constipation, resulting in diarrhoea in which diapers are used to contain it. Somehow I feel that this is a general statement, too general to reflect what’s really happening. Because you don’t use diapers just to manage bowel incontinence, they are used to control day and nighttime wetting too. I feel that the ‘poop is shocking’ factor was deployed here.

But what the article definitely got right was the part where seniors find it embarrassing to wear diapers. One’s bodily functions often remind us of our humanness and when another person has to take control of it, we feel that we lose that humanness. They could have mentioned it more in detail.

I think that this nursing home is on the right path, and it is something that the Singapore government can push nursing homes here to emulate. With the first such centre opening in a few years, it is the right step in caring for our pioneer generation.

As for this article, while it did sensationalise the diaper segment, it did a pretty good job in reporting some of the struggles faced by a resident of nursing homes.

– Selv

Soldier Without Diapers

I’m currently away for my annual reservist training, in a far-flung corner of this island. The annual pilgrimage to the chicken cutlet stall… I mean army refresher training is something we have to do every year. 
So I was packing my Army duffel bag on Sunday night. The list of things to bring is big but we managed to leave out certain items. 

I was packing my bag in the living room of my living room. I’d already changed into my nighttime diaper – a Tena Slip Plus – wearing a baggy pair of pants over it. They did a decent job of covering the shape thankfully, cos my mum and grandma were nearby, watching TV. 

I felt the contrast while packing. Here I was, on one hand a grown man packing for my reservist training to defend the country and on the other, I had just put on a diaper because I wanted to poop, using the excuse that I was going to wear that diaper for the night.

Being away from home for a week means no diapers for me. While it isn’t a problem for me, it made me realize how it’s just a psychological thing. I didn’t think about diapers during my overseas CIP, and I’m pretty sure I won’t think much about it during my reservist. 

It’s only when I’m alone in my room that I get that urge, that urge to ‘get protected’, to be enclosed in my safe space. My attendance for this reservist supposedly ensures my country’s safe space. I guess this is but another sacrifice I have to make. 

– Selv

The Traffic Offence – Short Story

Happy Fourth of July to my American friends! Here’s a short story I’ve written, something different from my usual posts.


“I need to buy more diapers tomorrow,” Annette thought to herself as she entered her room. It was just past nine at night, and she had just taken her shower. Closing the door, she knelt down towards her closet, disregarding her unravelling towel and the ominous rumble in her tummy.

She rummaged through her lower drawer, to retrieve a diaper for the night. The Tena Slip Super packaging was empty. The Abena AbriForm packaging was empty too. How about the Lille SupremFits? What, it was empty too?

Annette stood up, as the realisation dawned on her that she was out of diapers. She first sat on her bed, then lay down, realising that her mistake meant no diapers for the night. She bit her lip as she thought. It had been at least five years since she last wet the be so it wasn’t an issue, but the thought of having to poop on the toilet in the morning started to gnaw at her already upset tummy. She stood up.

Quickly, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a school t-shirt, and grabbed her keys. ‘I need my diapers tonight,’ she muttered to herself as she locked her room and descended the stairs of her university hostel.

She got onto her motorcycle, a Bajaj Pulsar, and kick-started the engine. It quickly roared to life. Soon, she was speeding out of the carpark and onto the Avenue. The track adjacent was full of joggers whom Annette noticed turned to look at her, as they always did when she zoomed past. But she ignored them and started thinking about where she could get her security padding at this hour.

She wanted to get her hands on some Tena Slips, but knew that the bigger pharmacies were likely to be closed. She settled on getting some Tena Values diapers. They were plastic-backed, but at least they held a decent amount of liquid. As she tore down the streets towards her destination, she was acutely aware of the worsening cramps in her stomach.

Quickly, Annette parked her bike. She clenched her stomach, and as she took off her helmet she tried to let out some gas to relieve the pressure, which was unexpectedly loud. But there wasn’t anyone nearby. She quickly walked over to the supermarket. It was nearly closing time, but she had made it in time. She walked slowly towards the diaper section, taking small detours, well aware that the weary staff were eyeing the last customer of the day.

She quickly bent down to compare the prices. Yes, the Tena Values were still more value-for-money than Certainty Diapers and the other house-brand diapers. So she quickly picked up an M sized pack, and, with her stomach now throbbing in earnest, limped towards the cashier.

The old lady at the counter raised an eyebrow at her purchase, but said nothing. Annette felt herself freezing as she farted again, and to her horror, the sound she made was barely audible. The cashier chuckled as she handed her change to her.

“Go, quickly,” she added jokingly. But Annette was not amused.

“That are not for me, its for my grandma,” she lied flatly as she grabbed the package and turned to leave.

But she had taken no more than ten steps when she knew that she needed to go right then. So she headed towards the nearby toilets to put one on. She repeatedly thanked her lucky stars that there wasn’t anyone who was nearby to hear the loud crinkling she was making as she hurried to put on her diaper. And as she attached the last tape, she realised that she didn’t have any wet wipes with her.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down – regretting immediately as the stench of the toilet hit her – before grudgingly smoothening out her diaper and pulling on her jeans. She grabbed the plastic bag containing her purchase, and headed towards the carpark. Quickly starting her motorcycle, she willed her stomach to cooperate, put her purchase in her rear box, and sat down on her machine.

The padding helped soothe her nerves a little, so she put the bike in gear and set off. Turn left onto the main street, then she would be back in her hostel in ten minutes before she got her sweet relief. However the intensity of her impending tsunami get magnifying, so she cranked the throttle and blazed towards her hostel, doing 100 in a 60kmph zone. Just get this over with, she thought to herself.

She turned the corner, and a part of her died when she saw it. The unmistakable action of a traffic police officer gesturing her towards the pavement, meant that she was definitely a fly caught in their notoriously random sting operation. And as she stood peeing herself as the charge was read out to her, the eight demerit points and possible $120 fine didn’t bother her as much as the seismic moment she knew was going to happen in 5…4…3…2…1…

“Alright Miss, since you weren’t driving under the influence of alcohol we will let you go for now. We will send the offence notice to your registered address, and you can leave once you sign this… Miss, are you alright?”

Annette’s face went a bright shade of red as she started to grunt. Bending her knees slightly, her left hand slightly reached out behind her.  She lost attention to what was happening and focused on relieving herself, completely ignoring the police officer who was not much older than herself. Perplexed, he took a step back, surveying her unusual posture. Was she really pooping, or was she about to puke?

Noticing the awkward position she had put him in, she took the document and signed it, before turning to walk away. She waddled slightly, cringing as all the officers eyed her and her exposed jeans, her shirt doing little to shield it. Lifting her bike off its stand, she swung a leg over, before cringing as she sat down. She heard an ‘OMG’ from an officer.

As she rode off into the night, she reflected to herself that she had uncontrollably messed herself in front of a police officer. She hoped that it wouldn’t be recorded down in the offence notice that her dad was sure to open.

– Story by me