Self-Censorship by ABDLs

I was initially writing something a little lighthearted for today. But I got worried that I was going off tangent.

So I decided to cut out some paragraphs, and tried to make the post smaller. While the devil was in the details, when I read the second draft without the details, it seemed even more off. You see, I had recently watched a cartoon, and noticed that a character may have been wearing diapers the whole time, and wanted to discuss that here.

So you see why I had second doubts. Because even though it is a cartoon character, I did not want to take the risk of being misunderstood.  Which is what many ABDLs have inadvertently been doing.

We have had to be very careful with what we say and do. As a group which is known for acting babyish and wearing diapers, many outside of our community mistakenly assume that children are involved. This is far from the truth. When others see words like ‘baby’, ‘diaper’, ‘ageplay’, their initial revulsion as well as the reluctance to find out more, as well as bad journalism, causes them to make these assumptions.

That’s why we self-censor. We do not want to upset people who will misunderstand us. Our blogs and social media are easily accessible to the world. And even though within the community certain things said are harmless, those words take a different meaning to the rest of the world. For example, imagine if a little said “I want to play ball with daddy.” An ABDL audience and a prejudiced audience would react differently.

I personally don’t think there a way out of this. I guess it’s better to self sensor than to risk upsetting the angry internet mob. I saw a quote earlier today, that in today’s world, if you say something that people don’t want to hear, there are millions willing to dig up your details and dirt. The entire premise of the internet was anonymity, and this is going to stay this way sadly.

– Selv

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ABDL Stories – What’s Going On

I’ve written about ABDL stories in the past, and I thought it’s time to revisit this topic. The writing scene has been evolving  (unlike the plain layout on my site), and it’s time for an update.

I think the most notable trend is that ABDL stories are appearing less frequently on the two forums which are known for it. ADISC’s sub-forum for stories, as well as ABDL Story Forum (ASF) were among the go-to for stories 10 years ago. The stories that do appear nowadays are often amateur. I know, I was one of them the I started too.

While stories weren’t really a focus for ADISC, it still was an important part of the site in the beginning. As for ASF, it was inverse; stories are the main focus while ‘diapertalk’ is a side thing. With the drop in stories hence the drop in readership, ASF has been having funding issues, so the outlook is pretty bleak for them.

One site that has been bucking this trend is Wattpad. There is a huge number of ABDL stories that have appeared there in the last few years. Perhaps this one is a generation thing, because many of the writers there seem to be younger. Maybe they just wished to bypass ABDL forums. But there is a collection of stories and novels there for the picking, whether people do read those stories is something that I cannot verify.

But this trend of declining readership isn’t happening with just the biggest sites. Other traditional ABDL sites that host stories, like Dailydiapers.com and the ABDL stories of Deviantart, have seen similar plateauing too. But with the access to internet rising and rise in population, this drop in readership across the board manifest in two trends.

For one, the ABDL culture of writing has evolved into something else. With the rise of social media in the late noughties, more people have been drawn from forums towards social media. Within our ABDL sphere, this has manifested in the form of ABDL Tumblrs, Fetlife-s, and recently Instagrams (sidenote: this platform is a bad idea for ABDLs).

With that, we also see a shift away from group-chats to individual narratives, in the form of posts. With the advent of smartphones it has become even easier to take and post pictures. And in a world where likes and reblogs are a form of emotional currency, people post more pictures than text posts, because that’s what brings in more likes.

But what does this all mean for ABDL stories? Simply, less people want to read stories. ABDL writers create whole universes by putting pen to paper. Walls of text which require patience and focus. I’d argue that it is worth it. And it really is. But in a world where there is less time for leisure, why spend time reading when a few clicks will bring up a Diaper Girl video in seconds? This is a trend that one cannot deny. So why write? Why go through all that effort? I’ll let a quote explain it simply.

“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.”

– Stephen King

So, we’ve established that people prefer pictures, that it is easier to get pictures, that writers will still write come what may, and that readers expect the story to be good because reading takes effort (in terms of time and focus).

Which brings us to the second trend – paid content. This is something which I had overlooked 3 years in my earlier post because I myself had doubted that it was viable  back then.

But it is true that people have been writing paid content for years now. And while the income derived from it will not count towards a full-time career, it still pays decent bucks for a side income. Arguably the biggest name has been Cushypen, although the site is more known for its ABDL Comics and sketches than for ABDL stories. So does that mean paid content is a new cash-cow for writers?

Well, not exactly. People have been getting stories freely for years, so would they be willing to pay to get it? Even outside of writing, this is something which people have always been wondering about. But you can’t compare stories to a diaper messing video. People can pay US$30 for a premade video, and up to USD$100 for a custom video. But ask people to pay just 2 USD for an ebook? AHAHAHAH!

Now, that isn’t to say that ebooks haven’t been successful. I have ABDL friends who have made some decent moolah from their ebooks and novels. But what I’m saying is that asking people to buy your ebook is no easy thing. Writing ABDL ebooks has been an option for years now, and while there is no way to track the numbers, it is plausible that some of the traffic has gone there.

We have been ignoring the elephant in the room – crowdfunding. I’ve saved this for the last because it is the newest and has the least info out there publicly. Patreon is currently the only crowdfunding site out there as of writing that has a critical mass of ABDL writers there. Patreons are everywhere nowadays. ABDL girls on Tumblr are all there to promote their Patreons. But there is a surprisingly number of ABDL writers out there as well.

There are many models being utilised. Some charge per post. Some charge per month. Some publish short stories, some put out audio, some post pictures with captions (I’d call them annotated descriptions:), some have a mixture. Many also highlight that they do commissions. People like Parker LongabaughCute Kitten and Allerted have put out impressive content, which you’d struggle to find even on an established ABDL site.

I think in the next few years this balance will hold, until the next game-changing innovation. There will be setbacks. I pray that the traditional ABDL sites don’t collapse due to the lack of funding. There definitely will be more measures in the coming years to clamp down of x-rated content and ABDL content will definitely be caught in the crossfire. Maybe new ways might spring up which may shift this balance. Because as I’ve pointed out, there is a demand for ABDL animations, and an as-yet-impossible integration with mainstream media similar to how LGBT is receiving representation. The ABDL writing scene will continue to adapt to these changes as they happen.

Before I wrap up, I’ll quickly say that 1) I wasn’t paid to promote anyone, this is a personal blog about my thoughts and 2) I’ve experimented with Patreon and might do it again in the future.

As a person who loves reading, and who sometimes shares the stuff that I write, I do note that there are changes abound. But if there is good story, the universe will find a way to deliver it to the excited reader.

– Selv

Messed

I am at a tipping point. My personal life at this point is in a mess, no matter how much I’ve been trying to spruce it up. There’s so much to say but this isn’t the correct place. 

I had to mention this because it is having an obvious effect on my ABDL life. I’ve not been able to put out content on my blog and patreon, though my tumblr posts have been going on as per the queue.

I’m how to do what I have to do. I’m so old yet I haven’t achieved any of the perimeters of success my friends have achieved, and I am at a loss. 

The only thing that had been going on somewhat well for me was my ABDL sphere, even now it has been reduced to just wearing diapers. I need time to build up again. I was never a big player in the scene, didn’t really want to be. What started out as a platform for me to write down my thoughts and organise them so that a future significant other could read with ease slowly started branching out. 

But I rarely interact with people. I get that guys don’t want to interact with another guy, and that’s the way the world works, but it gets lonely. All that work that I put out last year, about 3/4 was in the public sphere. But beyond a couple of likes and 3 people writing that they liked a particular story, no one else is talking about it. I get that no one wants to waste money for a patreon page without picture of girls in diapers, but what about my tumblr feed?

Maybe I should stop creating. Maybe I’m not really contributing to ABDL literature. Maybe in a few years there won’t be anyone who reads anymore – all will move towards viewing pictures and videos. Tell me, who cares about the wellbeing, the thought processes John Grisham or Robert Harris? Or even WBDaddy or Kita Sparkles? The difference here is that they have made been rewarded respectively. I made eyes roll.

I was chatting with Paul, the editor of WetSet, a well-known fantasy publication. He said that the world has moved on and that we have to move with it. People expect stories for free, he said. 

Look, I understand that whining on the internet to the bots won’t make a difference – it only makes readers uncomfortable. But I’ve tried a lot of things that don’t work, might as well try this.

– Disgruntled

When It Comes To Siblings Who Are Diapered, Part 2

Here’s Part 1. I’ve been a little busy, and it took time to research these posts.

When It Comes To Siblings Who Are Diapered, Part 1

We have looked at the emotions that people may experience as kids when they know that their sibling has to wear diapers for bedwetting. Most of the kids who remain diapered at an older age do so solely because of bedwetting. I’ve also talked about pubescent girls who may have to wear pull-ups for a bit while their bodies adjust. But there are two categories that rarely get mentioned.

I’ll touch on the second one briefly. There are sick parents out there who diaper their kids as a form of punishment. Some parents may be pushed to the point of putting the child back into diapers to protect the bed, but that is a mild form of it. But there are people who force their kids to wear nothing but a diaper and do stuff for a petty mistake. Or the daycare teacher that forced the child into diapers because she had several ‘accidents’. Those are basically a sick form of child abuse.

Imagine the horror that a sibling would go through upon seeing such scenes. They would begin to fret, fearing that they could be subject to it next. And usually, they are. There would usually be underlying family problems too, so usually such abuse would only end when child services are alerted.

The third category involves a child who use their diapers only to poop. There are a multitude of reasons as to why a child may continue to use his diaper just to go #2. Many involve incidents of trauma, such as constipation, which leads to an association that pooping on the toilet is painful etc. I’ll leave the reasons why this occurs to another post.

The diaper-pooping kid is becoming more prevalent. Just like how bedwetting is hushed up and kept a secret, so is this. Only this time, the secret is much more closely kept. A person may easily explain why diapers are needed for bedwetting, with all the involuntary peeing and stuff. But ‘willingly’ giving a child a diaper, just for her to put it on for a few minutes to do a ubiquitous act? That sounds preposterous!

The truth is, most of the kids who go through this issues would be single children. There simply isn’t any peer-pressure for them to change, and peer-pressure (a.k.a social impetus brought on by kids of the same age) has been singled out as a force that changes attitudes and behaviours in kids. That is why most kids get fully toilet-trained quickly upon starting school.

But we’re on a mission to find out, what if the trend continued past later years? For a start, parents would likely enforce the same set of rules on the sibling that would go with bed wetters i.e no teasing, no telling, no touching the diapers. Perhaps, because of the nature of taking a poop, there would be additional rules like ‘no disturbing when your sister is pooping’.

This poses a few thoughts. Due to the extra rules, the siblings may get a perception that they are being treated differently. Usually, they feel (or are made to feel) that they are being treated better by their parents. They may have better leeway when asking for things.

Second, there is very little sympathy. Betwetters have no control. But the diaper-poopers have all the control, yet they choose to be different. At least, that’s what a young child would perceive. As such, since it is the child’s choice, the sibling would be under the impression that the child is rebelling, and is thus getting their way.

Third, the whole family may experience inconveniences because the child needs a diaper. Diapers cost money. (Except perhaps in Singapore, flushing may cost the same amount.)The urge to poop comes at different times for everyone. So if a family is out, the mother may have to stop, just to diaper and clean up a child. That could cause a sibling to become more impatient with the child, piling on more grudges against them.

Then there is also the great chance that the sibling may develop a superiority complex over the child. That he is able to control himself, while ‘older sister cannot’. Other issues may crop up and sibling rivalry may start to flame up in earnest.

One cannot ignore the fact that wearing diapers would subject the wearer to stereotypes. And children may not be mature enough to distinguish them. That is why kids tease each other. Kids who poop their diaper will always be teased and misunderstood. Which in itself, is the main reason why most non-incontinent kids don’t poop in their diapers for long – their siblings make fun of them.

As you can see, unlike in the case of bedwetting, the bond between a diaper-pooping child and their sibling(s) is very shaky. It even can get negative. This is why many people don’t talk about it – it brings back bad memories of their childhood. I had very little leads to go on. Most came from ABDL literature, from which I had to pick out the ideas and themes to arrive at this post.

– Selv

Looking For A Decent Paying Part-Time Job

Let’s delay part 2. I’ve got a rant and a sighting to let off my chest.

I do have my current job as an admin assistant, but I feel that I am too free during the weekends. And as I’ve started to save up for my university education, as well as a pair of wheels, I figured that I could use the extra money.

I’ve considered tuition. This plan has backfired spectacularly as there are too many teachers out there and too little students. A little search suggests that the teacher to student ratio is a miserable 4:1! So, I have to KIV personal tuition.

So I decided to send out mail to tuition centres. My luck was terrible, not a single centre replied. I have given up this avenue.

The next interesting option that I tried is for freelance cleaning. So far I have received just one offer, but it is way below the market rate. I am holding back on this offer, but my choices are very limited on this matter.

Finally, there is freelance writing. Admittedly I haven’t pushed aggressively for freelance writing assignments as I have been focusing on getting tuition assignments. But I have had no luck at all. In fact, the freelance market is just as tight as the tuition market, and the demands are probably greater. So, I have to KIV this option.

My book is not due yet. I’m trying to get someone who can create covers for me, but this is proving harder than I thought. So there is a little money there that is unable to be processed. Just a little. Sigh…

Any suggestions?

I took a train to the west-side of Singapore yesterday, 20th April as I was attending a course. I was standing, absent-mindedly staring at my phone, at a pretty girl, back at my phone, then back to the pretty girl. She was looking at me too, so I didn’t feel too guilty. At one point, she got up from her seat to exit the train. Then, I saw it. Her butt bore the unmistakeable outline of a diaper concealed by not-so-loose dark blue pants!

I was shocked! Could this be it? Had just seen one of the girls on the SG ABDL forum? Alas, I could not be 100% sure that it was really a diaper(or pull-up); she had left the train. I thought long and hard if I should trust my eyes, or just concede that my mind playing tricks on me.

I guess that I have to factor in human error and have to choose the latter.

– Selv