Swimming in Schoolwork

A new school year has started and I’m continuing to exist in this superfluous train of lessons. It’s been a real struggle and I must admit I’m not coping with all. I still remain with the Photography society but I’ve decided it’s time to step down from the other cultural club.

I’ve been really busy these past 5 weeks, reason being I’ve been working part time for Deliveroo during the evenings. The whole month experience deserves a series of posts, which I’ll write separately as it has truly been an eye-opener for me.

But I’ve stopped working temporarily. I really cannot cope with my schoolwork anymore and I figured that I need the time to study. I still need the money. But as I don’t need it yet, work can wait.

Quitting the cultural club outright was a system shock for me. I left mainly because I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope with studies, work and a second CCA. But I new that if I stayed, they would squeeze me dry again. Which is fine since its part of your responsibilities. Except, I never really felt part of the gang. Of course I didn’t tell them  that but the incoming president must have sensed it.

But life can be cruel. Several members of this CCA attend the same Astronomy lecture as me and I, well, have friends now for that module. The president and the rest managed to convince me to remain part of one of their outreach groups – the Band Wing.

Which brought me to the doors of a music academy last week. To sign up for Flute lessons. To continue classes which I stopped 12 years ago. I am 24 now.

The trial session lasting 10 minutes was super awkward. I had to gatecrash another student’s lesson and borrow his flute. Holes appeared in my haven’t-played-for-12-years story when I could play the 7 notes with little trouble, but my new teacher didn’t really ask, and I don’t plan to tell him. Tell him that I played for a concert 6 months ago and was now an instrumentalist-to-be in an amateur band.

Life…

– Selv

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The Traffic Offence – Short Story

Happy Fourth of July to my American friends! Here’s a short story I’ve written, something different from my usual posts.


“I need to buy more diapers tomorrow,” Annette thought to herself as she entered her room. It was just past nine at night, and she had just taken her shower. Closing the door, she knelt down towards her closet, disregarding her unravelling towel and the ominous rumble in her tummy.

She rummaged through her lower drawer, to retrieve a diaper for the night. The Tena Slip Super packaging was empty. The Abena AbriForm packaging was empty too. How about the Lille SupremFits? What, it was empty too?

Annette stood up, as the realisation dawned on her that she was out of diapers. She first sat on her bed, then lay down, realising that her mistake meant no diapers for the night. She bit her lip as she thought. It had been at least five years since she last wet the be so it wasn’t an issue, but the thought of having to poop on the toilet in the morning started to gnaw at her already upset tummy. She stood up.

Quickly, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a school t-shirt, and grabbed her keys. ‘I need my diapers tonight,’ she muttered to herself as she locked her room and descended the stairs of her university hostel.

She got onto her motorcycle, a Bajaj Pulsar, and kick-started the engine. It quickly roared to life. Soon, she was speeding out of the carpark and onto the Avenue. The track adjacent was full of joggers whom Annette noticed turned to look at her, as they always did when she zoomed past. But she ignored them and started thinking about where she could get her security padding at this hour.

She wanted to get her hands on some Tena Slips, but knew that the bigger pharmacies were likely to be closed. She settled on getting some Tena Values diapers. They were plastic-backed, but at least they held a decent amount of liquid. As she tore down the streets towards her destination, she was acutely aware of the worsening cramps in her stomach.

Quickly, Annette parked her bike. She clenched her stomach, and as she took off her helmet she tried to let out some gas to relieve the pressure, which was unexpectedly loud. But there wasn’t anyone nearby. She quickly walked over to the supermarket. It was nearly closing time, but she had made it in time. She walked slowly towards the diaper section, taking small detours, well aware that the weary staff were eyeing the last customer of the day.

She quickly bent down to compare the prices. Yes, the Tena Values were still more value-for-money than Certainty Diapers and the other house-brand diapers. So she quickly picked up an M sized pack, and, with her stomach now throbbing in earnest, limped towards the cashier.

The old lady at the counter raised an eyebrow at her purchase, but said nothing. Annette felt herself freezing as she farted again, and to her horror, the sound she made was barely audible. The cashier chuckled as she handed her change to her.

“Go, quickly,” she added jokingly. But Annette was not amused.

“That are not for me, its for my grandma,” she lied flatly as she grabbed the package and turned to leave.

But she had taken no more than ten steps when she knew that she needed to go right then. So she headed towards the nearby toilets to put one on. She repeatedly thanked her lucky stars that there wasn’t anyone who was nearby to hear the loud crinkling she was making as she hurried to put on her diaper. And as she attached the last tape, she realised that she didn’t have any wet wipes with her.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down – regretting immediately as the stench of the toilet hit her – before grudgingly smoothening out her diaper and pulling on her jeans. She grabbed the plastic bag containing her purchase, and headed towards the carpark. Quickly starting her motorcycle, she willed her stomach to cooperate, put her purchase in her rear box, and sat down on her machine.

The padding helped soothe her nerves a little, so she put the bike in gear and set off. Turn left onto the main street, then she would be back in her hostel in ten minutes before she got her sweet relief. However the intensity of her impending tsunami get magnifying, so she cranked the throttle and blazed towards her hostel, doing 100 in a 60kmph zone. Just get this over with, she thought to herself.

She turned the corner, and a part of her died when she saw it. The unmistakable action of a traffic police officer gesturing her towards the pavement, meant that she was definitely a fly caught in their notoriously random sting operation. And as she stood peeing herself as the charge was read out to her, the eight demerit points and possible $120 fine didn’t bother her as much as the seismic moment she knew was going to happen in 5…4…3…2…1…

“Alright Miss, since you weren’t driving under the influence of alcohol we will let you go for now. We will send the offence notice to your registered address, and you can leave once you sign this… Miss, are you alright?”

Annette’s face went a bright shade of red as she started to grunt. Bending her knees slightly, her left hand slightly reached out behind her.  She lost attention to what was happening and focused on relieving herself, completely ignoring the police officer who was not much older than herself. Perplexed, he took a step back, surveying her unusual posture. Was she really pooping, or was she about to puke?

Noticing the awkward position she had put him in, she took the document and signed it, before turning to walk away. She waddled slightly, cringing as all the officers eyed her and her exposed jeans, her shirt doing little to shield it. Lifting her bike off its stand, she swung a leg over, before cringing as she sat down. She heard an ‘OMG’ from an officer.

As she rode off into the night, she reflected to herself that she had uncontrollably messed herself in front of a police officer. She hoped that it wouldn’t be recorded down in the offence notice that her dad was sure to open.

– Story by me

Jettisoning

My mind is dizzied with the emotions running though. I don’t usually hang out with my society friends, especially on a friday night, but I knew I needed to get it off my mind.

Girls think men must move mountains to profess their love for her, but I disagree. Cos when you have moved a truckload and she doesn’t respond more than 3 words, you know that it is a lost cause. Do girls know what it is like to think of a good message every day that isn’t creepy sounding? Do girls know how much guts it takes to arrange a meet with a crush? It’s not easy to forget. Especially when I chose you over my tests several times this semester. Even God was trying to make me forget by giving me a pseudo-date yesterday (with a girl who wants an arranged marriage, but that’s not the point).

My mind is distressed,

refusing to rest,

knowing it’s a test,

disagreeing it’s for the best.

– Selv

Flip Flops

“Hello ma’am, the common room is now closed. Please leave,” the security guard barked.

Sophie jumped, she had been keenly listening to her recorded lecture. Nevertheless, she stood up  and slowly packed her bag, hoping that the security guard would go away. But the guard just stood at the door, holding it open. With no choice, she left.

Walking briskly, her slippers flip-flopping noisily, she began her long walk back to her hostel room. But she had barely walked 20 steps before the first wave hit her.

“C’mon Sophie, you can make it,” she told herself, reducing her impact. Having IBS was not fun, but getting the urge at unexpected moments was not the worst part.

As she rounded a corner, she felt another strong urge. But this now was too strong to disobey. She limped to a corner under a staircase, and bore down.

A minute later, she felt her pants. Nothing had leaked.

– Story by Selv

Time Slips Away

As some of you may be aware, Tena has revamped its Slip line.

On the surface, the older Tena Slips were more good looking. They both have the same features, but the new slip is thinner, and stretchier. After just half a pack, I feel that the new Slips are a vast improvement. (Much easier to have BMs, for starters)

I’ll post a review soon, probably in 2-3 weeks time. I’ve been so busy with school stuff that I hardly have time for myself now.

Take care people!

– Selv

Good Reasons To Wear Diapers In College

So here I am, uncontrollably going in my pants… Thankfully my diaper is in there too. The stomach bug is really getting onto my nerves. But I’ve spent an unusually significant portion of my time in diapers when I’ve been in my hostel room due to the incident that happened this week.

You see, living beside a forest has its perks. You get to see birds of paradise, cute squirrels and playful monkeys. But you also have to contend with wild boars and snakes. Urgh.

Sometimes they just come down the hill bordering the hall and they rummage through out barbequeue pit dustbins. But my hall is lucky in the sense that it is fenced in, so we only get anteaters. They come down, inspect the slippers outside our rooms before climbing up, satisfied that there’s nothing edible that hasn’t been left eaten.

But snakes! Those slithering villains like to hide in dark, wet places. And yes, toilets fit that description perfectly, especially at night after the auto-lights go off. My first floor toilet is a prime location, with my block located at the end of the cluster of halls, surrounded by forest. My peers don’t really get frightened too much. Girls might scream, guys might huff like a locomotive, but are usually calm enough to call campus security.

But still, the idea that a snake might be lurking in the toilet is reason enough to wear diapers, at least at night when they are active. They come in, possibly lured in by the presence of rats and field mice (and maybe by our resident hall cat?). Sometimes the bats in the trees die, and these present a snacking opportunity.

But there are plenty of reasons why you should wear diapers. For one, there’s the added benefit of not having to leave the comfort of your room, not having to interrupt your YouTube binge (Netflix hasn’t caught on here yet), or if you are the studious type, not having to get up from your notes.

Then there is the diaper itself – it acts as an extra layer of soft padding. Very useful when you are sitting for hours on a hard plastic chair. When you pee, the padding conveniently grows, until it nears capacity. Invest in a nighttime diaper, like the Tena Slip or Lille Suprem range. After all, you’d probably spend about 6-8 hours in the diaper.

I guess the downside is having to put on and take off the diaper. That can be done in the guise of taking a bath i.e. once you return to your room you shower, and put one on. In the morning before class, you shower and take it off. That’s what I do, and with a little bit of tweaking, can be done even when using communal toilets, like the ones at NTU. There’s also the noise, but that’s where you should invest in noiseless cloth-backed diapers.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, the snake in my hall’s toilet story is absolutely true, as captured in this CNA news article. I’m not not referred to in the article, so don’t ask. I only remember a whole lot of screaming and yelling, and I came out of my room to ask these people to shut-up. But then I saw the pest control people and the bulging sack, though I didn’t get to see the snake itself.

– Selv

Certainly Not Maximum

So I went home for the weekend as my mum wanted to do some house reorganisation (again). But first, I had a CCA photoshoot to contend with on Saturday. That coincided with a videoshoot, and I was the videographer. Wearing traditional clothes.

Having contended with a tiring day, I suddenly remembered my mother’s plan so I had to ditch dinner with the gang and I ran off, taking the train while still in my traditional clothes. I know people don’t usually see a young man in such an attire, but don’t cast dirty looks at me as if I’m a foreigner or something!

Anyway, parents dragged me to IKEA and we spent the next day, sunday, fixing up 5 shelves and rearranging the study. In between my cousins came over and disrupted the tight schedule. That meant that I could start on my tutorial only at 10pm. Unfortunately, I had to edit the above mentioned video. That lasted from 12mn to 5.30am.

Did you wear a diaper that night, I hear you ask.

The answer is yes, I did. But I chose the wrong diaper. You see, I had intended to wear for a couple of hours, do some business and take it off. I didn’t expect to wear it for like 10 hours. That was why I experienced my first diaper leak in a very long while – a Certainty diaper doesn’t have the capacity of a Tena Slip Maxi. Admittedly, I doubt that the Tena Slip Super could have held that flood in.

Certainty not Maxi.

– Selv

The Young Man, And The Hot Girl

It was a long and tiring day, but I had a 7pm motorcycle class to attend. I rushed down after completing my evening class for my late evening lesson, mentally prepping myself for the bombardment of skills and sharp-tongued instructors amid quiet classmates.

But life decided to let up on me for this lesson. There was a hot girl in my group of 8, and she kept looking at me. I was determined to talk to her. Midway through the lesson we were having a break. This was my chance, I thought to myself. We all walked back to the waiting area and sat down. A fellow classmate sauntered over and sat beside me, breaking my thoughts.

We had a light conversation, about how difficult it is to book classes, about the long waiting time between them and the very sharp learning curve.

I mentioned that with the flexibility of the university schedule, I could still rush over after classes ended. He mentioned that he usually had to apply for half day’s leave in order to attend lessons, and since he lived close by, he didn’t need to drive over.

“So you’re learning bike for the experience?”, I asked.

He chuckled.

“Guess how old I am,” he asked me.

He looked a little middle-aged, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, I mumbled ‘thirties’.

“I am 57 this year. And I still want to learn,” he declared proudly.

Fifty-seven? He is older than my parents. I was genuinely surprised.

“It’s never too late to learn something, if you want to, you will find a way!” he said with great zeal.

“But it is good that you are able to learn while schooling,” he added, ostensibly to change the topic.

“I was once like you, NUS (university) grad, big pay, good life. But I could spend $600 a day, just on drinks and enjoying.”

“As a fellow friend, I just ask that you don’t do the same mistake as me. It is good to have friends, but you must choose the right kind. If they are bad, then just walk away from them,” he added.

With those words, we walked back to our lesson area. While that short conversation wasn’t some mind-blowing, meme-worthy revelation, it did set me thinking.

Somehow, I forced myself back to the lesson at hand. Soon, the lesson was over and the instructor was waving at us to park our bikes for the night.

As always, life didn’t forget the girl. She parked her bike beside mine as I set off back to the waiting area for the results. Suddenly, I heard someone calling out to me.

“Eh, come back, he’s (the instructor) calling us”.

It was the hot girl. I quickly called those infant of me, and we walked back to the instructor. But he was oblivious to us, and merely waved at us to go back to the waiting area.

I felt the embarrassment radiating from her. So I helped things along by asking how how the lesson went.

“I was wobbling a bit, but I think I can pass,” she said coyly. “You?”

“I… well, I was stuck in the yellow box when the light went red, and just proceeded to turn. Hope he doesn’t mind that,” I said.

“Oh don’t worry lah, you seemed okay,” she reassured me as we reached the waiting area.

We retrieved our stuff from our lockers and she sat down beside me as we removed our hand and knee guards. We then sat in silence, waiting for the results.

The wait was nerve-wracking, and I calmed my nerves down by whipping out my phone and writing down all the techniques that I’d learnt that day. Soon, our instructor was calling out to our group.

We cautiously approached him, and thankfully, I had passed the module.

The last I saw of the girl, she was looking at her book shaking her head in sadness, before the other students engulfed her.

– Selv