Good Reasons To Wear Diapers In College

So here I am, uncontrollably going in my pants… Thankfully my diaper is in there too. The stomach bug is really getting onto my nerves. But I’ve spent an unusually significant portion of my time in diapers when I’ve been in my hostel room due to the incident that happened this week.

You see, living beside a forest has its perks. You get to see birds of paradise, cute squirrels and playful monkeys. But you also have to contend with wild boars and snakes. Urgh.

Sometimes they just come down the hill bordering the hall and they rummage through out barbequeue pit dustbins. But my hall is lucky in the sense that it is fenced in, so we only get anteaters. They come down, inspect the slippers outside our rooms before climbing up, satisfied that there’s nothing edible that hasn’t been left eaten.

But snakes! Those slithering villains like to hide in dark, wet places. And yes, toilets fit that description perfectly, especially at night after the auto-lights go off. My first floor toilet is a prime location, with my block located at the end of the cluster of halls, surrounded by forest. My peers don’t really get frightened too much. Girls might scream, guys might huff like a locomotive, but are usually calm enough to call campus security.

But still, the idea that a snake might be lurking in the toilet is reason enough to wear diapers, at least at night when they are active. They come in, possibly lured in by the presence of rats and field mice (and maybe by our resident hall cat?). Sometimes the bats in the trees die, and these present a snacking opportunity.

But there are plenty of reasons why you should wear diapers. For one, there’s the added benefit of not having to leave the comfort of your room, not having to interrupt your YouTube binge (Netflix hasn’t caught on here yet), or if you are the studious type, not having to get up from your notes.

Then there is the diaper itself – it acts as an extra layer of soft padding. Very useful when you are sitting for hours on a hard plastic chair. When you pee, the padding conveniently grows, until it nears capacity. Invest in a nighttime diaper, like the Tena Slip or Lille Suprem range. After all, you’d probably spend about 6-8 hours in the diaper.

I guess the downside is having to put on and take off the diaper. That can be done in the guise of taking a bath i.e. once you return to your room you shower, and put one on. In the morning before class, you shower and take it off. That’s what I do, and with a little bit of tweaking, can be done even when using communal toilets, like the ones at NTU. There’s also the noise, but that’s where you should invest in noiseless cloth-backed diapers.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, the snake in my hall’s toilet story is absolutely true, as captured in this CNA news article. I’m not not referred to in the article, so don’t ask. I only remember a whole lot of screaming and yelling, and I came out of my room to ask these people to shut-up. But then I saw the pest control people and the bulging sack, though I didn’t get to see the snake itself.

– Selv

Certainly Not Maximum

So I went home for the weekend as my mum wanted to do some house reorganisation (again). But first, I had a CCA photoshoot to contend with on Saturday. That coincided with a videoshoot, and I was the videographer. Wearing traditional clothes.

Having contended with a tiring day, I suddenly remembered my mother’s plan so I had to ditch dinner with the gang and I ran off, taking the train while still in my traditional clothes. I know people don’t usually see a young man in such an attire, but don’t cast dirty looks at me as if I’m a foreigner or something!

Anyway, parents dragged me to IKEA and we spent the next day, sunday, fixing up 5 shelves and rearranging the study. In between my cousins came over and disrupted the tight schedule. That meant that I could start on my tutorial only at 10pm. Unfortunately, I had to edit the above mentioned video. That lasted from 12mn to 5.30am.

Did you wear a diaper that night, I hear you ask.

The answer is yes, I did. But I chose the wrong diaper. You see, I had intended to wear for a couple of hours, do some business and take it off. I didn’t expect to wear it for like 10 hours. That was why I experienced my first diaper leak in a very long while – a Certainty diaper doesn’t have the capacity of a Tena Slip Maxi. Admittedly, I doubt that the Tena Slip Super could have held that flood in.

Certainty not Maxi.

– Selv

The Young Man, And The Hot Girl

It was a long and tiring day, but I had a 7pm motorcycle class to attend. I rushed down after completing my evening class for my late evening lesson, mentally prepping myself for the bombardment of skills and sharp-tongued instructors amid quiet classmates.

But life decided to let up on me for this lesson. There was a hot girl in my group of 8, and she kept looking at me. I was determined to talk to her. Midway through the lesson we were having a break. This was my chance, I thought to myself. We all walked back to the waiting area and sat down. A fellow classmate sauntered over and sat beside me, breaking my thoughts.

We had a light conversation, about how difficult it is to book classes, about the long waiting time between them and the very sharp learning curve.

I mentioned that with the flexibility of the university schedule, I could still rush over after classes ended. He mentioned that he usually had to apply for half day’s leave in order to attend lessons, and since he lived close by, he didn’t need to drive over.

“So you’re learning bike for the experience?”, I asked.

He chuckled.

“Guess how old I am,” he asked me.

He looked a little middle-aged, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, I mumbled ‘thirties’.

“I am 57 this year. And I still want to learn,” he declared proudly.

Fifty-seven? He is older than my parents. I was genuinely surprised.

“It’s never too late to learn something, if you want to, you will find a way!” he said with great zeal.

“But it is good that you are able to learn while schooling,” he added, ostensibly to change the topic.

“I was once like you, NUS (university) grad, big pay, good life. But I could spend $600 a day, just on drinks and enjoying.”

“As a fellow friend, I just ask that you don’t do the same mistake as me. It is good to have friends, but you must choose the right kind. If they are bad, then just walk away from them,” he added.

With those words, we walked back to our lesson area. While that short conversation wasn’t some mind-blowing, meme-worthy revelation, it did set me thinking.

Somehow, I forced myself back to the lesson at hand. Soon, the lesson was over and the instructor was waving at us to park our bikes for the night.

As always, life didn’t forget the girl. She parked her bike beside mine as I set off back to the waiting area for the results. Suddenly, I heard someone calling out to me.

“Eh, come back, he’s (the instructor) calling us”.

It was the hot girl. I quickly called those infant of me, and we walked back to the instructor. But he was oblivious to us, and merely waved at us to go back to the waiting area.

I felt the embarrassment radiating from her. So I helped things along by asking how how the lesson went.

“I was wobbling a bit, but I think I can pass,” she said coyly. “You?”

“I… well, I was stuck in the yellow box when the light went red, and just proceeded to turn. Hope he doesn’t mind that,” I said.

“Oh don’t worry lah, you seemed okay,” she reassured me as we reached the waiting area.

We retrieved our stuff from our lockers and she sat down beside me as we removed our hand and knee guards. We then sat in silence, waiting for the results.

The wait was nerve-wracking, and I calmed my nerves down by whipping out my phone and writing down all the techniques that I’d learnt that day. Soon, our instructor was calling out to our group.

We cautiously approached him, and thankfully, I had passed the module.

The last I saw of the girl, she was looking at her book shaking her head in sadness, before the other students engulfed her.

– Selv