I have slowly been able to master the art of wearing every night, despite the presence of my roommate. In the mornings, I have also been able to do my morning routine while in my diaper, without alerting my roommate.
To their end, cloth-backed diapers have been a boon. My diaper of choice is the Tena Slip Super. They aren’t the most absorbent, but they are able to hold a decent amount of liquid. And with their new update, their retention ability is much improved.
I feel that wearing every night allows me to destress a little. I’ve been keeping up with this routine since end-october, with breaks of course. Again, avoiding having to sit on the toilet has also been a sort of thrill. I’ve never been afraid of sitting on the toilet, just that, like a preoccupied kid, I prefer the comfort of my own padding.
But as I gear up for the future, I know that this routine is temporary. A long-term temporary but yes, temporary. For I am not sure if my future wife will be accommodating of my nightly wish. Leave her if she does not accept you, I hear you say. But, given the struggle I am going through just to meet someone, walking away is a complex option.
Changing my soulmate’s diaper every morning just so that she doesn’t need to touch her own mess is something that I feel deeply about. Having a girl entrust you with her second-most intimate thing, every morning, is a weird wish. But why would a girl even want to agree?
Why do I harbour this innate desire to change a girl’s diaper? What’s wrong with my thinking? I consider myself moderately religious, yet I still have this ‘dirty’ thoughts. Why can’t I be like other normal people, who fantasise about having sex during exotic vacations? Why can’t I have the courage to ask a girl out, to even admit that I am her cultural group? Is it because I wear diapers? Is my wearing of diapers affecting my social life?
To be certain, diapering a girl is not a sexual thing for me. I’ve learnt to suppress my own erections because diapers aren’t sexual for me. I have long refused to admit (and still don’t) that I have a diaper fetish because the word fetish carries the connotation of being sexual. I would have to communicate this to her as well.
How will my soulmate react to the fact that I wear diapers not out of necessity? How further will she react when I tell her that I want her to poop in a diaper from time to time? How will I get the courage to tell her?