The new year is shaping up to be very hectic. Time is already very rare as it is, and this year it’s going to be even harder to find. I’m taking modules that I despise, was drawn into a CCA that keeps leeching off my skills and has now thrust me into a key position that I don’t want, and my roommate now does not have a structured schedule as he is back from his industrial attachment, meaning lesser diaper time for me.

I think it is the last one that is threatening to overwhelm me. Because I really want to be able to spend time writing diaper stories. I didn’t expect my involvement in my cca to really take up so much time and energy. I made a very very bad mistake. They just squeeze me dry, by saying that that no one else knows how to do it (for free), but keep overloading me with other tasks.

I mean, I really want to work on my ABDL writing. The only piece of writing I managed to publish last year, at the expense of my exams unfortunately, was a seriously panned piece that I sent for the ABDL Story Forum competition. I got 5 votes. My book is stalled, my short story compilation is stalled, and the idea I had for an ABDL cartoon has also not left the sketchbook. They told me not to join that CCA. But I did (for a reason that I can’t write here cos it will identify a certain aspect of me).

So how did I spend my New Year? I welcomed 2017 from bed, sick from a very high fever and splitting headache. I’m not sure if it is a metaphor for what’s in store for me this year. On the love front, I’m keeping fingers crossed that, as prophesied by my aunt, this is the year I get attached. An ABDL girl would be good and not likely, but she having an open mind is crucial.

I’m sitting here at the National Library writing this post for tonight, having skipped a committee outing because I don’t feel like it. I woke up late this morning, in a dry diaper, realising I had an hour to get to the workshop being conducted here. I just rolled around because I didn’t want to make off my dry diaper.

But, I didn’t want to be barred from attending future courses, so I grabbed an Uber, and I reached on-the-dot. Still wearing my night-me diaper. It’s the first time I was attending a class wearing a plastic-backed diaper, and I’m really happy that it didn’t make a sound. Although it did start bulging a little later on, I managed to pull my shirt over to hide it.

I think the first months of 2017 will be spent questioning my identity, whether I will continue to be a Singapore resident, whether I want to be an engineer, whether I really want an ABDL girl as a soulmate (or should I settle for a vanilla lady), and whether I should take a more religious stance to life, whether I should follow my father’s or mother’s culture, and other whethers. But one thing that I do want to do is to contribute more to local charity, as well as the ABDL production scene.

– Selv


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